


Worth The Wait

by gerank



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Bo is a good dad, Domestic Fluff, Light Angst, Loving Sex, M/M, Mpreg, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 09:40:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10614270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gerank/pseuds/gerank
Summary: Lukas runs into Philip six years after he'd left Tivoli, this time with a five year old in tow.





	

_The last time Lukas had seen Philip was when they were both seventeen._

_Philip had tears dripping down his face, he was screaming and crying. Lukas had been redder than the devil, angry as fuck. Philip was fed up with being his secret. He felt the exhaustion in his bones from being something Lukas was ashamed of._

_“I can’t fucking do this anymore!” He was sobbing uncontrollably._

_Lukas got fucking livid, stalking over to him predatorily. “Do what? We can’t be anything!”_

_Philip gave him the most heartbroken look “I’m pregnant.”_

_Fear had driven the ugliest words out of Lukas’s mouth. “Get an abortion.”_

_Philip tears started flowing even more profusely. He tied up his converse laces and got up to leave._

_The second Lukas heard the door slam he should’ve went after him. The dread in Lukas’s stomach hinted to him that this was an unforgivable mistake he was making. Philip was literally carrying his child and he had treated him so terribly. Lukas knows he could be a dad. He could be a fucking great father to their kid. It’s just his own dad holding him back, like a padlock chained around his ankle._

_“I wish I could give you everything” Lukas says to the empty silence._

_Philip and his mother moved away to Brooklyn three days after that._

_-_

_Six Years Later, Present Day_.

Lukas is shoveling in cans of Campbell’s soup into his cart. He’s currently doing a mental list of what else he needs to get, bananas and milk? Yep, and he needs to stop by the liquor store for a six pack of his dad’s Heinekens. Lukas looks down suspiciously at his decently bare cart. Shit he almost forgot the Stouffers macaroni. He pinches his nose bridge tiredly, and whips his shopping cart around. The repetitive squeaking of the wheels is irritatingly loud. Long day at work, he thinks.

He sighs audibly and opens the freezer door. Lukas starts pulling out the boxes, making sure they don’t have any beef. A giggling child runs past him yelling “you can’t catch me!”

The boy clumsily swings his limbs and knocks one of the boxes of mac and cheese out of Lukas’s grasp. It skids across the store’s tiles. Incoming footsteps are heard, a tall brunette rushes quickly after the little boy down the aisle.

The kid slows his steps and laughs excitedly when the brunette catches him. He grabs him by the arm and scolds him “Jamie what did I tell you about running in the store?” The brunette leans down and retrieves Lukas’s macaroni on the floor, before making eye contact he starts hurriedly “I’m sorry sir-“

It’s Philip. _Fuck_.

A flood of feelings come rushing back, the boy of his dreams. The boy he never got over. His high school sweetheart who he could _never_ move on from. _Shit_.

Philip’s face is frozen, looks almost as if he had all his blood drained.

“Hey _Philip_.” God does it feel good to say his name again.

Philip’s face shifts to something different, surprise? Or awe. “ _Lukas”_ he says his name like it hurts “I never thought I’d see you again.”

Lukas never thought he’d see Philip again, shit. “Yeah me neither” They both crack a small smile at each other. It’s genuine and painful. Philip still looks the same. The only difference being his hair slightly longer and wavier, and slight purple rings under his eyes. His eyes are still as warm. Feels almost like coming home.

Lukas looks towards Philip’s little boy, he’s completely adorable. Looks just like Philip, with his brown hair and big eyes.

“So I see you got a kid?” he gestures to the child.

Philip cracks a big proud smile. “Yeah” he ruffles the boy's hair “This is Jamie, Jamie this is Lukas.”

He leans down to shake the disinterested boy’s hand, “hello Jamie” he grins. The boy gives him a gap toothed smile and then looks up to Philip. “Phi Phi can I pleeease get SpongeBob ice cream?” Jamie whines, jumping up and down.

Philip must be a pushover, because he gives in easily and sighs “you better be back in two minutes.” The little boy nods happily “okay!” and takes off, the thud of his sneakers echoing down the aisle.

Lukas kind of feels weirdly jealous. Philip had a kid with someone else. It gave him an aching pain in his gut.

“So I see it didn’t take you long to get over me” he admits with his jealously edging its way through.

Philip gives him a weird look. Like Lukas said something completely ridiculous. And he didn’t, he was just stating what was clearly in front of him.

“Lukas, Jamie is yours.”

 _Oh_. He feels cold sweat break out on his skin. “We- we have a kid?” he stumbles.

Philip shrugs “Kinda, Jamie grew up without a father.”

Philip’s tone digs deep, it’s clearly bitter.

Jamie returns into the aisle with a box of popsicles held under his arms. Philip smiles softly at him and lifts him onto his hip. He raises his brows at Lukas, and _oh._ Philip wants him to hold their son. Lukas hesitantly grabs the squirmy boy. He feels his cheeks heat up as soon as he looks at him, it’s weird seeing yourself in someone else. Jamie has features that mirror his, and now that he’s really looking at him he can tell Jamie looks exactly like him when he was younger. _Holy shit_.

Jamie looks warily to the Philip. Then back and forth between them, clearly confused. Philip begins with a small smile, “Jamie, sweetheart this is your daddy.”

Jamie’s eyes flick up to him in wonderment, he concentrates on Lukas’s features with awe. “You’re my daddy?” his voice is so curious and precious.

Lukas’s heart skips a beat. It just feels _so_ right. The way Philip is looking at him, their son in his arms. He feels more like himself than he has in years. He always waited for this moment. During the past six years he has spent countless hours wondering where Philip was, what he was doing. Now he’s here, right in front of him. Except now with a child that’s both of them. It’s completely mind blowing.

“Yeah kid, I’m your dad” his voice breaks on a choked sob. It hurts so badly that Jamie didn’t know of his existence until now.

Jamie sucks on his thumb and watches Lukas with big eyes. Philip lifts the boy from Lukas’s hip, “no thumb sucking sweetie, Ms. Sarah said that’s not good for your teeth.”

Lukas raises a brow confusedly “Ms. Sarah?”

Philip bounces Jamie on his hip. “Jamie’s dentist” Philip says bluntly, and _ouch_. He doesn’t know shit, not one fucking thing about his kid besides his name.

“Oh” he can’t say much or else he’d break down right in the store, he feels utterly pathetic. Philip’s eyes soften up when they land on the sagging of Lukas’s shoulders and the line etching between his brows.

Lightening the subject Philip nudges his shoulder with a soft smile, “you mind buying Jamie some Pepto? His belly has been acting up and I’m a couple dollars short and I still gotta get him his Spaghettios.”

He is so undeserving of the Philip’s kindness. His lips spread into an appreciating smile. “ _Thank you_.”

Philip smiles and places Jamie in the front of the shopping cart and turns it around swiftly. Lukas follows after.

His fingers itch for the need to text his dad. He wants to tell him about Jamie. Dread settles in his stomach and his fingers retract disappointingly from his pocket when his brain reminds him that Bo still doesn’t even know he’s gay.

They push their carts down the canned soup aisle. Lukas leaves his own cart and leans on Philip’s while the shorter boy is absentmindedly reading the nutritional facts on the backs of the cans. Lukas beams at Jamie, who’s currently busy scribbling his red crayon across Spiderman’s face.

“How old are you handsome?”

Jamie glances up from his coloring book, and thinks for a couple seconds. He looks down at his fist, and counts his fingers out loud.

“I’m six!” Jamie yells happily. Philip dumps the spaghettios into the cart and shakes his head with a knowing grin at Jamie.

“Jamie’s five actually, he’s born in august.” Philip outstretches his hands to tickle their little boy’s tummy, Jamie giggles and squirms “Phi Phi no!”

 “You won’t be six for another three months huh?” Philip laughs, and Jamie looks back to Lukas “daddy I’m this many” and shows him his fist.

“Wow! You’re a big boy!” Lukas says enthusiastically. On the inside though, it is scorching a hole through his heart. He missed out on five fucking years of his son’s life, it hurts so incredibly badly.

Philip doesn’t catch his pained expression this time. Jamie starts whining “Phi Phi my tummy hurts.” Philip shushes him and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. “Luk- your dad is gonna get you some medicine.”

The almost slip up of calling Lukas by his name instead of Jamie’s dad makes his belly twist guiltily. He doesn’t deserve an ounce of how gracious Philip’s being. Lukas wasn’t there, throughout all of their son’s life. He hadn’t even been aware of his existence, which partially makes him angry at Philip but all at the same time he understands because he hadn’t wanted Jamie in the first place. It still rips him to shreds that he told Philip to abort their baby, _their_ fucking kid. All because he used to be completely terrified of his father.

“You really are my daddy?” Jamie asks once they’re turning down the health aisle. The question drives a knife through his heart.

He breaks down in tears in front of an old lady and her grandson but he couldn’t give less of a fuck. Philip has a pained expression, because he _understands_.

“ _Philip_ \- Philip I’m so sorry.” He shoves his face into Philip’s neck, wrapping his arms around his waist, he sobs loudly. Completely ignoring the grimace on the elderly woman’s face and holding him tighter. “Lukas, it’s okay” Philip comforts him and _no_ , it’s not okay whatsoever.

“No it’s not” he’s hiccupping cries “I should’ve never told you to- to abort our son.”

Fuck, now he’s making Philip cry. A lone tear leaks down Philip’s glossy eyes, he wipes it off his cheek. “Did you.. did you mean it?”

Lukas inhales the smell of laundry detergent on Philip’s maroon hoodie. “Of course not, I was just _so_ scared.”

Philip cries with relief, “god it feels so good for you to finally say that.” Lukas meets his eyes. Philip continues “I always thought… I thought that maybe you still didn’t want him. Even after I had him, I just kinda.. I don’t know. I always thought about when you told me to get rid of him I guess.” It’s brutally honesty and it hurts.

Lukas swallows the lump in his throat, “It’s my fault, I should never _ever_ have said that to you.”

Philip holds him tighter, hiding a sob in Lukas’s sleeve.

“Phi Phi” they both break the contact and look towards their wide eyed child.

Philip rushes over to him, and lifts him from the cart.

“Phi Phi why are you crying?” Jamie asks, giving Lukas a weird look.

Philip ignores his question and nuzzles his nose in his hair. He whispers “I love you so much”, and gestures for Lukas to come over. Philip gives him an encouraging smile and says “it’s okay” when Lukas meets his eyes cautiously. Lukas feels relief once he wraps his arms around them. He strokes Jamie’s curls soothingly and presses a kiss to Philip’s hair.

-

Lukas and Philip go to the same checkout lady. Philip places his items on the belt while Lukas spends his time making silly faces at Jamie. Their little boy has brown eyes, but they’re shaped more like Lukas’s then Philip’s. His nose looks like both of theirs, but with a small bump on the bridge just like Philip’s. His face shape is definitely spot on with Lukas’s though.

He is _so_ handsome and adorable it’s making Lukas’s heart ache. Philip catches him looking completely ridiculous and smiles brightly. The face he’s pulling is making Jamie giggle so it’s completely worth the puzzled look he’s receiving from the cashier. Lukas hears the checkout lady read out Philip’s total so he pulls out a twenty from his leather wallet, and hands it to Philip.

Philip shakes his head, “that’s too much, I only need five.”

 Lukas gazes warmly at him, insisting “it’s fine.”

Philip flushes and mouths ‘thank you” and reaches in his back pocket and pulls out the rest of his crumpled bills. He hands them to the checkout lady. Lukas waits while Philip is given his receipt, and starts putting his food on the belt.

-

They separate temporarily so they can put away their groceries in their cars. They’ve made plans to let Lukas follow him home because Lukas wants to learn everything he can about Jamie. He pats down his jeans for his phone, and pulls it out of his left pocket.

He shoots his dad a quick text, ‘ _Sorry dad won’t be home tonight, got busy. I’ll get your beers tmrw’_

Philip knocks softly on his window, ‘ready?’ He mouths. Lukas nods, and waits for Philip to pull out the parking lot so he can follow.

-

Philip’s apartment is decent, small but nicely decorated. Real homey and warm. Philip carries Jamie on his chest, rocking the sleeping boy softly.

“Hold on” Philip whispers to Lukas, and takes Jamie to his room.

He returns in seconds, and trips over a baby bouncer as he begins to show Lukas the living room. Lukas catches him quickly. The contact sends a shockwave up Lukas’s spine. They look deeply into each other’s eyes. Philip’s golden irises meeting Lukas’s blue.

It isn’t awkward at all, more of an intimate longing. He misses him so much, and he’s sure the shine in Philip’s eyes got to mean something. Just as he’s about to lean forward Philip steadies himself, and goes back to pointing out certain things in the living room.

“That’s Jamie’s toys, and his ps2. He really loves his SpongeBob games.” Philip says with a knowing smile.

“Shit I didn’t even know you could still buy those” Lukas says, pointing towards the ps2.

Philip shrugs, “that one is mine from when I was younger. I found it in my closet awhile back.”

Lukas traces the ridges of a picture frame, looking at the details. It’s Philip and Jamie, but their little boy is evidently much younger in the photo. He’s wrapped in a blanket and in Philip’s arm. Philip is kissing his head. It’s beautiful and grainy soft.

“When was this?”

Philip pulls the Polaroid out of the wooden frame, and flips it to the back to read the date. “He was three months here, he was the cutest baby” Philip gushes.

Lukas nods disappointedly “I really wish I could have raised him with you.”

Philip gives him a tired smile, “I know. But at least you get the chance to now.”’

That makes Lukas feel better, a whole lot. Philip always had a way with words, knew how to calm him easily when he was stressed. Lukas can never thank Philip enough for being just so completely amazing.

Philip gestures towards his couch. They sit down besides each other. Thighs just inches away from touching, he feels like a teenager again. Stomach full of nervous butterflies. Philip gazes into his eyes and reaches out a gentle hand, softly touching Lukas’s cheek.

“You look good by the way. I like the stubble” Philip smiles softly, his pretty kind eyes still the same. Just as sweet and filled with love as they’ve always been.

Lukas doesn’t comment on Philip’s compliment, instead asks “can I hold you?”

The corners of the Philip’s lips curl upward, and he crawls into Lukas’s lap. He wraps his long legs and arms around him. They’re holding each other so closely, like a much needed hug.

“I haven’t been held in so long” Philip admits, adding “I missed you, so much.” Philip’s voice cracks, and buries his face in the Lukas’s neck.

Lukas rocks them, swaying softly in a steady rhythm. He rubs his palm soothingly up and down Philip’s back, just like he used to.

He doesn’t realize Philip’s sleeping till he feels him drool on his shoulder, dampening the cotton of his shirt. Anyone else it’d be gross, but because it’s Philip it’s cute. Maybe that’s because Lukas is fond of pretty much anything Philip ever does.

Lukas gently maneuvers Philip onto his shoulder, and carries him towards the rooms. There are three doors. He knows the one on the right is Jamie’s, so he slowly cracks the middle one. Nope, bathroom. Lukas shuts it, and goes for the last one.

Inside Philip’s room is dark, no lights been flicked on yet. He flicks the switch beside the door frame. A dim overhead ceiling light comes on. He feels all his exhaustion wash over him once he places Philip on the sheets. Philip softly breathes, and curls into the sheets. Lukas slides into the bed beside him, covering them both with Philip’s warm sheets. He passes out the second his head rests on the pillow.

-

He wakes up to sunlight bright in his eyes, and a five year old in his face.

“Holy-“ he stops himself before the curse slips out, _thank god_. “Jamie what are you doing?” Lukas groans, and stretches out his shoulders. Jamie grins, and holy shit. He is a spitting image of Lukas when he was five, big teeth and all.

“Good morning daddy!” Jamie giggles and jumps on top of him, Lukas flails at the oncoming limbs. Laughing till his face turns red when Jamie tickles his sides.

“Jamie no! Stop!” He switches it around by going for Jamie’s arm pits. Jamie squeals and kicks his legs as Lukas tickles him relentlessly.

“See? Not fair now is it” Lukas laughs, and removes his hands. Jamie looks at him for a moment, and unexpectedly hugs him. Lukas’s eyes widen in surprise and clasps his arms around Jamie warmly.

“Will you stay daddy? I really want you to.”

That takes him back a little, he wasn’t expecting that.  But it doesn’t stop from feeling his heart swell. Lukas feels complete. This is where he’s meant to be.

A tear slips out the corner of Lukas’s lashes, and hugs him tighter. “Yeah of course baby, I’m always going to be around for now on.”

Jamie pulls back, giving him a toothy grin “really? You mean it?”

Lukas pinches his chubby little cheek “you betcha” he smiles. He thinks for a second, glancing at Philip’s clock.

It’s 7:00 am, and its Monday, which probably means Jamie has school.

“Do you have school or something?” Lukas asks, sounding like an idiot.

Jamie nods happily and begins jumping up and down “my friend Timmy said he’s gonna play jump rope with me at recess today!”

The yelling hurts his tired ears. He exhales sleepily and rolls off Philip’s sheets. He stands up and yawns, then goes over to Jamie to pick him up. He looks at him with bleary squinting eyes “where’s your dad?” he asks confusedly.

Jamie pops his thumb into his mouth, mumbling “store.”

That’s a bad habit that Philip clearly doesn’t like. He shakes his head and pulls Jamie’s thumb out. “Philip wouldn’t like that now would he?” he says sternly, it’s hard to be strict with how cute Jamie is. But he’s got to be so Jamie breaks the habit.

Jamie crosses his arm, jutting out his bottom lip in an all too familiar way. Shit this isn’t going to be easy, now hes got two people who can give him that pouty, puppy eyed face.

Lukas sighs, and flattens his messy blonde strands. “So what does he usually do to get you ready for school?”

Jamie shrugs, still giving him the silent treatment. Lukas rolls his eyes with a small grin, and places Jamie on the counter and opens up the fridge. Shit, no milk, he can’t make Jamie cereal like he was planning to.

“Do you have milk anywhere?” Lukas asks dumbly, like Jamie would know.

Jamie surprisingly does, mumbling “Phi Phi went to the corner store to get some.”

Lukas yawns with sleep still fogging up his mind, “you still mad at me buddy?”

He watches curiously as Jamie doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. Jamie breaks the silence by asking “Why did Phi Phi leave you?“ Lukas is left with his mouth hanging open.

“Sometimes… sometimes people who love each other very much need time apart, like Philip and I” Lukas says, grimacing at the memory.

Jamie nods like it makes perfect sense, “I understand.”

Lukas cracks a grin at that, nudging his shoulder “You’re a smart kid.”

The little boy jumps down from the counter, his feet thud soundly as he races to the living room. He jumps onto the couch and yells “daddy come watch me play ps2!”

Lukas is starting to understand the rings around Philip’s eyes. Kids pull you around like you’re a human rag doll. Lukas couldn’t say he wasn’t happy about the attention though, he _loved_ that Jamie wanted to hang out with him. Made him feel like he was needed, it felt new and amazing.

He strides over quickly to where Jamie’s sat, and plops himself down beside him. Jamie clearly waited for him, because he presses resume game once Lukas sits. It’s sly cooper, Lukas feels nostalgia rush back. He hadn’t played that game since he was a kid himself. The cool blue hues of the game are opposite of how Lukas feels, he feels warm. He snuggles closer to Jamie’s side. While Jamie concentrates on fighting shotgun wielding guards.

Philip cracks open the front door, letting in orange sunshine, and everything makes perfect sense. Lukas meets his surprised warm gaze, and smiles when Philip does.

Philip is beautiful, that’s the first thought that comes to mind. He is standing there, sort of in awe. Holding a grocery bag with milk and cheese in it, ruffled morning hair and a sweet smile, he looks like a tired parent, and it’s completely draw dropping gorgeous.

“Hey” Philip says softly. It sounds like what he’d assume heaven would sound like. And Lukas kind of thinks he entered an alternate universe. Never in the last five years of his life did he think he’d be here, sitting on Philip’s couch, cuddling his son. And have the boy he never stopped loving come home to him. It’s insane and Lukas feels like it’s too good to be true.

“Hey” he replies, eyes filled with love.

Philip shuts the door behind him, and comes over to peck Jamie on the head.

“How is my sweet boy doing?” he asks Jamie, now peppering kisses to the side of his face.

Jamie laughs, squirming away and happily announcing “I’m playing sly cooper!”

Philip flicks his eyes to the tv screen, “sounds fun baby” he smiles, walking towards the kitchen. He stops at the archway, and raises a brow at Jamie.

“Cheerios or frosted flakes?”

“Cheerios!”

Philip nods without even looking at them, and disappears into the kitchen. Jamie shoves the controller into his lap after repetitively failing a mission, “daddy beat this for me pleaseee.”

Lukas chuckles, “only if you stop whining” he replies jokingly, and begins fighting off a nightclub guard.

He hears some bowls clanging and liquid being poured and then Philip’s returning. A bowl in his hand with a cup of orange juice in the other, he leans over slightly and hands it to Jamie. Lukas successfully beats the mission on the first try and hands the controller back to Jamie.

Philip nudges his arm, “coffee?”

Lukas rubs his eyes, and nods. Yeah, he could definitely use some coffee.

He follows after Philip into the kitchen, and props himself against the counter while Philip fills up coffee mugs with the liquid.

“How do you take yours?” Philip asks without looking up.

“Milk and sugar, never could drink it black” he replies with a grimace, remembering the bitterness of black coffee.

Philip smiles “I’m the same way, but sometimes when I’m too tired I just go black.”

Lukas cringes “I could never.”

Philip shrugs, stirring the sugar and milk into their cups. “I hardly notice” Philip says, handing Lukas his mug. His fingertips graze against Philip’s and his brain short circuits. His eyes are flickering around Philip’s face from his eyes to his lips and shit. Philip’s mouth still looks like _that_ , and just, _shit_.

Lukas breaks out of his trance when Philip starts tasting his coffee. He decides to do that too. Lukas sips the mocha colored goodness into his mouth. It’s so sweet and creamy, holy shit.

Lukas hums happily, “I don’t know what you did to this coffee, but this is some damn good coffee.”

Philip smiles proudly, he points towards a picture on the fridge “I learned from the best.”

The little black and white Polaroid is of Anne and Philip hugging. They’re smiling brightly at the camera. It tugs at Lukas’s heart seeing it, and he wants to ask how Anne’s doing, but he isn’t too sure the response will be a happy one.

He takes a leap of faith, and asks “how is she?”

Philip takes a gulp of his drink, and surprisingly smiles. “She’s great, she just moved into a little house in red hook with her new boyfriend.”

Lukas exhales at the good response, nodding good heartedly “that’s great, I’m really happy to hear that.”

Philip smiles in response, and Lukas finishes his drink. He walks over to the sink, placing the glass gently into it.

He has a lot of thoughts, a lot of questions. Too many to ask right now, so he starts with one.

“Did you ever, like, date anyone else?” he question was odd. And Philip looks sort of amused.

Philip touches his elbow, the softest grazing of his fingers. “Once, I dated some guy. His name was Jerry, he was a plumber” he shrugs.

Lukas ignores the strike of hurt at the thought. The dreaded thought of Philip dating anyone else, being _touched_ by someone else, feels weird and not right.

He bites his lip, admitting “I didn’t, I couldn’t.”

Philip’s face is unmoving, the slightest movement being the trembling of his lip.

“I needed money, Lukas. I couldn’t afford to pay bills and raise Jamie as well. So he helped out for a little bit, we dated on and off for about six months.”

Lukas understands, but it doesn’t stop the hurt. The fucking ache, of some other dude, playing daddy with _his_ kid.

“Who did Jamie think he was? His father?” He asks with his voice sounding pained.

Philip sighs tiredly. “No, I never called Jerry his dad. Jamie knew he was just my boyfriend.”

That settles the stinging more, his voice cracks as he says “did you ever tell him about me?”

The air is silent, for seconds too long.

Philip meets his eyes, “yes, I always told him about you.”

Lukas kind of doesn’t believe it. It’s too good to be true.

“Really?” he asks bewildered, adding “what’d you say?”

Philip smiles softly, whispering “I said you have a great heart and that the reason you weren’t around was because you were scared.”

Scared. Philip was completely correct with his words, when Lukas was seventeen the only thing he was, was scared. He’d been terrified of his father, being with Philip, hurting Philip, hurting their unborn child by letting it enter the world. The world he couldn’t protect their baby from. Now he’s different, stronger, he has structure. He’s not breakable like he used to be.

“I was scared.” Lukas agrees.

“I know” Philip says. “That’s why I gave you time” Philip adds with a small smile.

Lukas wants to sob at how understanding and caring Philip is, he loves him so much.

So Lukas kisses him, throws himself at him. Philip’s mouth opens in surprise, letting Lukas’s eager tongue in. It’s a messy, frenzied kiss. Filled to the brim with emotion, and tears. Lots of tears. Lukas doesn’t even realize they’re both crying till he pulls away. He holds Philip’s face in his hands and pecks hard, loving kisses to his lips.

“I never stopped loving you.” He admits breathlessly.

Philip stifles a sob. “I love you too Lukas _, so much_.” He continues quickly “I always will. You’re the father of Jamie, and my first love. Something like that doesn’t just… stop.”

The words are exactly how Lukas feels. That’s how Lukas always knew Philip was his other half. They somehow always felt the same way, or at least knew how the other felt. Like yin and yang.

Philip notices the time on the oven, and widens his eyes “shit, I gotta get Jamie’s lunch ready. Can you go put on his sneakers? He still doesn’t know how to tie.”

Lukas nods, and reaches towards Philip to wipe away the tears that still shine on his cheeks. Philip blinks slowly at him, and reminds him “shoes” when Lukas stares too long at his mouth.

He smiles softly and whispers “okay.” Then retreats back to the living room. Jamie’s nestled in some blankets on the couch, still concentrated on his video game.

“Sorry kiddo, play time is over. Daddy’s gonna put on your shoes okay?” Lukas tries.

Jamie huffs annoyedly, and saves his game with a pout.

“I thought you were excited for school” Lukas says.

Jamie crosses his arms “I am but I wanted to play my gameee” he whines.

Lukas sighs, and starts putting Jamie’s foot into his shoe. It’s harder than he thought to put a squirming child’s foot into small shoes, but he makes it happen. He laces up the tiny sneakers, and folds the hem of his jeans up.

“You’re good to go” Lukas grins up at him.

Philip jogs out of the kitchen with a Scooby Doo lunchbox and backpack in his arms, “I got your things, ready sweetie?”

“Yes daaaad” Jamie drags out, showing his displeasure.

Lukas smiles to himself, and scoops Jamie up from behind. Jamie squeals and starts giggling when Lukas starts tickling his tummy. Philip watches amusedly and briefly flicks his eyes down to check the time on his cell.

“It’s time to go boys” Philip says tapping his foot. Lukas places Jamie down. Jamie runs towards Philip by the door. Philip raises an eyebrow at Lukas, clearly wanting him to come.

Lukas sighs, “Sorry, I gotta be at work in twenty.”

Philip nods and gives a clearly disappointed smile “that’s okay, so I’ll see you-?” He trails off, waiting for Lukas’s answer.

“You’ll see me after work, if that’s okay.”

Lukas is going to around as often as he can. And if he could choose he’d never leave Philip or Jamie, _ever_.

Philip raises Jamie onto his hip and surprises Lukas by striding over to him and giving him a quick peck on the lips. The contact is quick, chaste and closed mouthed. Philip turns quickly and yells “bye Lukas” as he shuts the door behind him.

Lukas flushes, heart thumping.

He remembers minutes later that he should have asked if he could use Philip’s shower, but he really doesn’t think Philip would mind. He clearly didn’t mind Lukas sleeping beside him.

 Lukas also doesn’t know where anything is, but he’s not stupid enough to not know that shower stuff would be in the bathroom.

His eyes catch onto a Polaroid camera sticking somewhat out of a bin in Philip’s hall. It’s _the_ Polaroid camera. The one Lukas bought him when they were seventeen. Philip had kept it. Lukas cannot stop the grin that stretches his cheeks, or the flood of heat that settles in his stomach. He opens the bathroom door and grabs a towel off the rack, and quickly turns on the knobs to start up the water.

-

He bangs his thumb at work with a hammer and he kind of couldn’t care less. Not when he’s going to be going to see Philip and Jamie right after work.

His friend Kevin who sands wood alongside him picks up quickly on his upbeat nature. He whistles and comments loudly “looks like someone got laid last night!”

Lukas laughs, because it’s super ironic.

“No” he chuckles, “I got a son.”

Kevin smiles in surprise, and punches him good heartedly in the shoulder. “No shit man? That’s awesome! When is she due?”

That almost makes Lukas visibly grimace, he plays it off by muttering “my kid’s five, actually.”

“Five? And you didn’t know about him?” Kevin asks incredulously. Not an ounce of sugar coating, Kevin is always straight forward. Which makes Lukas see him like a brother. He is good intentioned but bluntly honest.

Lukas sighs, feeling out of his zone. He does feel bad, and he’s going to for a while. Missing out on five years of your kid’s life isn’t something you just get over.

“My ex ran off when we had an argument, they came back and surprised me with Jamie and now we’re deciding to raise him together.”

Kevin raises his eyebrows suspiciously, “they?” he asks befuddled.

Lukas is tired of hiding, and truthfully he doesn’t give a fuck what Kevin thinks.

“He” Lukas corrects bluntly.

His face must be like a stone because Kevin laughs awkwardly “it’s cool man, just took me by surprise?”

Lukas nods, and grins at the cheeky look Kevin is now giving him.

“After work we should stop by Eddie’s and grab some beers? For celebration of you becoming an old man” Kevin asks, smug smirk resting on his cheeks.

Lukas chuckles, and uses the sander to shape the edge of his plywood. He switches it off briefly to reply “old man? Says the guy hitting the big four zero”

Kevin shoves Lukas’s shoulder playfully, “hey there, I might be forty but I still pull more pussy than you Waldenbeck.”

Lukas almost chokes on his water. He barks a laugh and agrees by clapping a hand on Kevin’s back, “that you do Kevin.”

Lukas adds apologetically “but I can’t, I gotta head over to Sipperley’s and buy my old man some beers. After that I’m going to get back to my kid.”

Kevin shrugs, “whatever, I’m sure Davey will appreciate a free beer.”

Lukas nods looking down. He’s concentrating on finishing up sawing down two lengthy pieces of Birch.

“Anyways” Kevin starts, looking down at his watch. “I’m about to clock out, I hope you have a good day with your kid, man.”

“Thanks, enjoy your malt beverage” Lukas replies with a small grin.

He hears Kevin shout “will do!” seconds before the door shuts behind him.

-

Lukas honestly doesn’t think anything could get him down. He’s had a great morning with Philip and Jamie, a decently easy day at work. And the checkout lady at Sipperley’s gives him a discount just for being a regular. He’s grinning like an idiot when he walks through his front door. Even walks like he just won the damn lottery. Bo watches him with an unreadable expression when Lukas hands him the six pack.

Lukas feels oddly like a teenage girl with a diary, he has _so_ much to say.

Bo kind of looks worried, “what is it son?” he asks, voice gruff as always.

“I…” he trails off, he doesn’t know where to start.

“Well?” Bo pushes.

Lukas exhales, rushing out quickly “how would you feel if I were to tell you that you have a grandson?”

Bo’s mouth drops comically. He widens his eyes and asks “are you being serious son?”

Lukas nods quickly and seats himself besides Bo on their fraying leather couch. Lukas turns his phone on and opens up the first picture from his gallery. It’s a picture he snapped of Jamie while he was busy playing Sly. Lukas beams down at it, and enlarges it for his dad to see.

He hands it to Bo proudly, “that’s him, Jamie.”

Bo has a shocked expression. “How do you have a boy so old?” he squints further at the image “shit, he looks just like you.”

Lukas smiles awkwardly, “it’s hard to explain.”

Bo shakes his head, “well I got time.”

Shit, Lukas’s stomach drops. He hadn’t thought about his dad asking questions about who birthed Jamie, and now that he realizes he knows he’s got to own up. There is no other way around it.

“You remember that boy I used to hang out with…. Philip” Lukas stutters, fuck. Bo raises his eyebrows, slowly catching on.

“And?” Bo asks warily.

“We- we…” Lukas scratches the nape of his neck nervously, rushing out “I knocked him up when we were seventeen.”

Bo looks, well kind of expressionless. He is taken back, by a lot. And Lukas is more than shocked by his own bravery.

Bo exhales a long breathe, and pinches his nose bridge. Lukas flushes with nerves, “dad-“

“Lukas, it’s just… a lot to take in, that’s all.”

 Lukas sighs, “I know, and I’m sorry for dropping this all on you. I just really, really needed to tell you.”

Bo cracks open two of the Heineken’s with his palm, and hands it to Lukas. He surprises Lukas when a big grin spreads across his face, and his eyes light up like he just discovered something. “Shit son, I have a grandson.”

“Yeah, and Jamie’s five, pops” Lukas tells him, smiling with both relief and joy.

Bo nods with a proud glint in his eyes. He clangs their beers together, “cheers son. I never knew you had it in ya” he says, taking a big swig of his lukewarm beer.

Lukas feels thirsty himself, and gulps down a mouthful of the bitter drink. He almost scrunches his nose at the flavor. Lukas was never a fan of Heineken’s.

“Good?” Bo asks.

Lukas shakes his head, and thumbs the peeling label “not my style, but it’ll do.”

Bo nudges his shoulder, fixating his eyes on Lukas’s. “So Philip-”

Lukas interjects with his anxiety rearing through “are you- are you disappointed?”

Bo eyes him for a second, and then shrugs. “It wasn’t that big of a surprise. It’s not like you ever brought a girl home, besides that one girl- wait what was her name?”

“Rose” Lukas replies.

“Yeah yeah, that’s the one. _Rose_ , that was a while ago. You were what sixteen? Seventeen? That’s been a while.”

Lukas nods in agreement. He feels sated and airy, like weights had been lifted off his shoulders.

“So…” Bo continues, “how come Philip kept Jamie from you?”

Damn, that’s a hard one to fess up to. He already can see the judging look Bo is going to send him. Lukas groans, “I told him to.. abort Jamie.”

Bo is weirdly silent. He usually is quick to comment.

“I didn’t really want him to, I just was worried about everything” Lukas adds.

Bo hums, finishing off his beer and places it onto the end table. “You both were too young to be having kids anyways.” Lukas raises his brow, Bo continues “not saying that I’m not happy that I now have a grandchild, but still, you both were teens.”

Lukas chuckles, “it’s too late for the sex talk dad.”

Bo grumbles playfully, “If it weren’t for Jamie being so damn cute I’d smack you for not knowing how to wrap it.”

Lukas chugs down the rest of his beer, placing it besides Bo’s empty one.

“I know, dad” he smiles.

-

He pulls up to Philip’s somewhat late. Later than he had planned, but he had been so busy gushing about how adorable Jamie is to Bo that he forgot the time.

Philip lives on the first floor of the apartment conveniently, making it a quick jog from Lukas’s truck to Philip’s doorway. He knocks on it quickly, and picks at his jacket sleeve impatiently while he waits.

Philip opens the door with a blank face, but smiles immediately when he locks eyes with Lukas.

“Hey” Philip says, voice quiet and soft. He looks adorable, dressed in a loose t shirt and cut off capris. Cut right above the knee.

Lukas gives him a small smile in return, and tentatively touches his arm “hey.”

Philip takes his hand, pulling him inside. “Jamie’s asleep” he whispers, making sure Lukas isn’t noisy. Inside its really dim, the only light source in the living room being the glowing tv.

“The craft?” Lukas asks amusedly.

Philip smiles, his teeth are bright in the darkness, and so are the gold of his eyes. His lips are so peachy pink and Lukas is hypnotized.

Philip climbs into a pile of blankets gathered on the sofa, and gestures eagerly for Lukas to join. “Come on, movie night” Philip insists with a smirk tugging at his full lips.

Lukas flushes red, and sits down on the couch to begin untying his boot’s laces. He pulls them off, and gets up to place them by the door.

He returns to Philip quickly and opens up the large cotton blanket Philip’s wrapped in and gets in beside him. The skin on skin contact is instant and Lukas makes a uncontrollable choked sound. Philip doesn’t seem to notice, and unpauses the movie.

They watch in silence, Philip’s concentrated on the witch spells being cast in the movie. But Lukas is honestly more interested in Philip’s bare thigh touching his leg. He doesn’t want to be a creep by trying anything on Philip, but he’s definitely down for an attempt at cuddling. He testingly pulls one of Philip’s legs over his own, seeing how Philip will react. Philip flicks his eyes towards him quickly, his lips curve amusedly. Lukas takes that as a good sign and plasters himself to Philip’s side, maneuvering their limbs till they’re lying. Philip’s back to Lukas’s chest, spooning.

This feels perfect, he thinks. Lukas gently slides his hand up the back of Philip’s shirt, tracing hearts and circles over the smooth skin in soft tickling motions.

“You know” Lukas starts, “I cannot believe we have a kid.”

Philip breathes out softly, “yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s amazing. _You_ , are amazing.”

Philip shifts to lying completely flat on his back, gazing up at Lukas with big eyes. Lukas props himself up on an elbow, and looks down at Philip, meeting those pretty golden irises.

Philip has a smile touching his cheeks, and outstretches a hand to trace the line of Lukas’s cheekbone.

Lukas stays still, not trying to wreck the silent intimacy of this moment.

Philip trails his hand down Lukas’s jaw, dropping it down to rest on his own stomach. He thumbs the hem of his t-shirt, “do you wanna see?”

Lukas raises a brow, not really getting what Philip means.

He must catch on that Lukas is kind of confused, and he smiles. “The stretchmarks.”

“Oh” Lukas says, sounding stupid.

Philip takes Lukas’s hand, gently sliding it up his shirt till it’s rucked up to his nipples. Lukas almost gasps at Philip’s gorgeous pale skin. There are thin lines of stretchmarks around Philip’s tummy. They aren’t really deep, but still visible. He slowly uses his fingertips to trace the marks, and all Lukas thinks is that they’re beautiful. The lines are visible proof of Philip carrying Jamie, which makes them even more perfect.

Philip whispers with half lidded eyes “they’d be worse if I hadn’t used cocoa butter.”

Lukas shakes his head, “nah, they’re beautiful.”

Philip’s eyes flicker around Lukas’s face, and his lips pull into a big genuine smile. Lukas slides down off his elbow and lies down beside him with his palm still resting on Philip’s smooth belly. Philip’s skin is warm, and he can feel the vague thrum of Philip’s heartbeat.

Their faces are so close that he can feel Philip’s soft breathes, and see the details of his lashes. Philip leans forward and presses their mouths together. It’s soft and Lukas can’t help but cup his cheek and deepen the kiss. Philip makes a sound into his mouth, and twists a hand into Lukas’s long hair.

They break the kiss with a popping noise. Lukas rests his palm on the back of Philip’s neck to keep their foreheads pressed together, noses bumping.

“Did you ever think about having another kid?” Lukas asks, whispering. It’s kind of an odd question, but he’s interested in Philip’s response.

Philip laughs, and rubs his eyes. “Honestly? No, I haven’t. I’m too busy with Jamie to even think about having more…” he trails off, adding “and you weren’t around.”

Lukas’s heart flutters. “You would only have kids with me?” he asks, eyes shining with hope.

Philip kisses him, just a quick peck. Then he nuzzles his nose against Lukas’s. With his eyes closed and a soft smile gracing his lips he whispers back, “yes.”

Lukas feels like crying with relief, his emotions flood over and he is admitting breathily “I never had sex with anyone else.”

Philip’s eyes widen, and he grins like a child who just won a prize. “Really?”

Yeah, really. Lukas couldn’t. He’d tried, for sure. He had gone to some clubs when he got tired of being lonely, and tired of missing Philip. The boys there weren’t right. They were too sexual, and not as pretty as Philip. Their eyes didn’t shine the gold Philip’s does, nor was their hair as wavy and silky. They weren’t as soft and caring as him either. He stopped trying when he realized none of those boys would ever be good enough, they’d never be Philip.

“Yeah, I tried, really fucking hard. But they weren’t you.”

Philip’s eyes are wetting and Lukas just has to kiss him. He presses their mouths together in a bruising kiss. Philip slides his tongue against Lukas’s eagerly with his hands clawing at Lukas’s back. Lukas doesn’t break the contact of their lips as he maneuver’s his legs in between Philip’s thighs. Philip gasps breathlessly when Lukas nudges his legs further apart, sliding his palms up the backside of the capris.

“Lukas” he breathes out, panting. “We can’t.”

Lukas stills, and flicks his eyes to Philip’s.

“I don’t have any condoms” Philip admits, biting his lip.

Lukas presses a kiss to Philip’s throat, and sighs. He doesn’t have one on him either.

Philip continues “I’m not on birth control either. I haven’t been on the pill since Jerry.”

Nodding, Lukas assures him “its fine” and peppers kisses to the soft flesh beneath Philip’s jawline. Philip hums and softly strokes the strands of Lukas’s bleached hair. This is just as heartwarming as sex would be. All he needs is Philip in his arms to feel happily sated.

“Love you” Lukas whispers, nuzzling his nose against the hair that curls around Philip’s ears.

Philip tickles his back in soothing strokes, and Lukas completely understands why Philip is such an amazing parent. Philip knows how to make you feel at home with just the slightest graze of his fingers.

“I love you too, Lukas” Philip replies softly, kissing the top of his head.

Lukas wraps his arms underneath Philip’s body, pulling him so close there is no air between them. He leans his head up off the crook of Philip’s neck for a brief second to chastely kiss his mouth. Then he settles it back in the same place, his breathe evens out and it doesn’t take long for him to fall into the abyss of sleep. He welcomes it, feeling white noise fill his head, and the gentle thudding of his heart.

-

He wakes up by Philip getting off the couch. Lukas groans annoyedly and pulls him back towards him. Philip smiles apologetically “I have to get Jamie up.”

Lukas makes a displeased noise, and puckers his lips.

Philip chuckles at Lukas’s expression and places a quick peck to the side of Lukas’s mouth.

“Not on the lips?” Lukas pouts playfully.

Philip smirks, “maybe after we brush our teeth.”

“You’re no fun” Lukas whines playfully, and stretches his arms with a yawn.

Philip stops by Jamie’s door and glances back at Lukas. “How about you go have fun by making Jamie a bowl of cereal” he says chuckling.

Lukas takes a sip from Philip’s glass, and pushes himself up off the cushions. He picks up Jamie’s strewn action figures and tosses them in the red toy bin. Then he makes his way towards the kitchen. Lukas opens up the cupboard, and pulls out the frosted flakes. He can somewhat hear Jamie’s whining, and shakes his head while he pours the milk onto the cereal. Lukas grabs a clean spoon and jogs to the bedroom to help Philip with getting the grumpy boy up.

When he cracks the door he sees Jamie kicking at Philip. Who is attempting to sit next to him on the bed. Jamie yells at Philip “I don’t want to!”

“Hey!” Lukas interjects sternly.

Jamie becomes silent that second, and looks to Philip for back up.

Philip sighs, “You’re going to school.”

“But!” Jamie says, starting to protest. He stops once he sees the steely eyes Lukas is giving him, and begins pouting.

“Jamie, listen to your dad” Lukas warns.

Jamie hops off the bed irritably, dragging his feet behind. Lukas stops him when he tries to walk past him, “hey, eat your cereal.” Jamie crosses his arms, but still takes it when Lukas hands it to him.

“Good, after you finish brush your teeth” he reminds him, giving him a pat on the back.

Jamie munches his food and exits into the living room. Lukas switches his gaze to Philip, who is sat on Jamie’s bed with an unreadable expression.

“What?” he questions.

A slow smile spreads out onto Philip’s face. He pushes himself off the bed. Walking slowly towards Lukas, he wraps his arms around Lukas’s neck, and Lukas instantly clasps his arms around his back.

“Nothing..” Philip trails off, “it’s just awesome you got him to listen so easily.”

Lukas grins smugly, “Maybe it’s because you are too soft on him.”

Philip laughs and pinches his arm, and Lukas reacts by biting teasingly on his neck. Philip yelps and pushes him off, a sweet smile playing on his lips. “Thank you though, seriously, I never seen him so obedient.”

Lukas beams with a hopeful smile “so does that mean I get my morning kiss?”

Philip pecks his nose with a smirk and strides away. Lukas groans, “You drive a really hard bargain.”

Philip whistles in response, swaying his hips proudly as he turns into the living room. Lukas follows after. His eyes glance quickly to Jamie, checking if he finished his food. He hasn’t, he is still busy swallowing spoonfuls. Philip checks his phone for the time, “Jamie, it’s getting late, finish up and brush your teeth sweetie.” Lukas nods in agreement, coming over to Philip to wrap his arms around him from behind.

Jamie complains “ewww” when Lukas kisses Philip’s neck. Lukas chuckles and Philip spins around in his arms, pushing Lukas back by the chest.

“I got to make Jamie’s lunch.”

Lukas drops his arms, and Jamie flashes him a grin. “Now you can’t give Phi Phi cooties!”

“Not cooties, I was actually going to give him a hick-“

“Lukas” Philip hisses, and looks to Jamie, “and you, go brush your teeth!”

Jamie and Lukas give each other a knowing look. Lukas takes Jamie’s empty bowl and mouths ‘go’ at him. Which Jamie obliges to and runs noisily to the bathroom.

Lukas takes the glass bowl into the kitchen, and washes it with some dawn soap whilst Philip slices Jamie’s sandwich. His wipes it dry with a paper towel and places it in the plate’s cabinet. Philip kisses his cheek appreciatingly.

Philip finishes zipping up Jamie’s lunchbox and jogs over to the closed bathroom door, knocking on it he asks “ready?”

The faint sound of the sink turning off is heard, and then Jamie cracks the door. “M’ ready.”

Philip takes his hand, leading him to the couch so he can tie Jamie’s shoes. Lukas watches idle, disappointed that he has to leave them again. Philip looks up, catching his sagging shoulders.

“Work?” Philip questions knowingly.

Lukas nods, “I promise I’ll be home before Jamie goes to bed.”

Philip smiles, which makes Lukas realize what he just said. Home, he called Philip’s house home. It makes his cheeks heat up, but it feels right. This feels more like home then staying with his dad, truth be told.

“Alright” Philip says, lifting Jamie up on his hip. He stops by the door, raising an eyebrow at Lukas.

Lukas gives him a questioning look back. Philip cracks a smile prettier than the sun, “come here.”

Lukas goes hurriedly, wrapping his arms around the both of them. Jamie squirms when they press their lips together, and Lukas grins into the kiss.

“I win.” He says proudly.

“Whatever” Philip mumbles, pulling him in for another quick kiss.

-

“This is him” Lukas says proudly, handing Kevin his phone.

Kevin raises his brows at the picture of Philip, “Jeez, honestly I’d prefer a brunette with more tits but you got yourself a looker Waldenbeck.”

Lukas barks a laugh, and punches Kevin’s shoulder playfully. Kevin eyes him amusedly, like he’s got something on his face.

“What? Do I have a wood clipping on my face or something?”

Kevin snickers and hands Lukas’s phone back, “nah man, nothing besides that shit eating grin.”

Lukas quirks an eyebrow, “what are you talking about?”

Kevin nudges his arm, “come on man, admit it. You are head over heels in looooove.”

He flushes, shit he is _that_ obvious?

“Well, we do have a kid together” Lukas shrugs, trying to play off his red cheeks.

Kevin backs off slightly when he notices Lukas’s defensive nature, “relax man, I’m just pulling your chain, and besides, at least you two got the baby making out of the way” he chuckles.

Lukas smiles smugly, jokingly adding “I don’t know man. We might make another Lukas 2.0”

Kevin coughs loudly, “save the details for your boy” he laughs with his face reddening.

Lukas won. He smiles to himself and slices a piece of oak in half.

-

He gets to Philip’s a couple minutes after six, just like he promised. Lukas only knocks twice before Jamie is answering, in less than ten seconds, tops.

“Daddy!” Jamie screams, all excited and jumpy.

He beams at him, hurriedly scooping the squirmy boy in his arms. “Hey kiddo, I missed you!” Lukas says gleefully, carrying Jamie inside.

He sets him down on the couch. Jamie gives him a big toothy grin. “Phi Phi’s making us chicken nuggets!”

“Sweet” Lukas replies, smiling at his beautiful son. He flicks his eyes up to the screen, “whatcha playin?”

“Jak! It’s really cool and Phi Phi said he used to play it all the time!”

Lukas chides jokingly “really? Philip doesn’t seem cool enough to play that.”

Philip enters the room with a smirk gracing his features. He plops down on Lukas, and elbows his teasingly in the ribs. “Asshole” he whispers, just loud enough for Lukas to hear.

Lukas snickers and wraps a heavy arm around Philip’s front. Jamie plays his game with wide eyes, making displeased noises every time Jak loses health. Lukas strokes Philip’s hip with a gentle hand, and rests his other palm on his belly.

The timer on the oven goes off, making Philip slide disappointingly off his lap. Lukas tries to focus on the screen and not the swaying of Philip’s hips, but he fails anyway. Eyes latching onto the tempting slice of skin exposed above his waistband.

Lukas shifts his eyes back to Jamie, who is now fighting tiny red robots. Jamie sucks in his bottom lip in concentration, and it reminds him so much of Philip. Lukas feels love swell inside him. He pulls Jamie closer to him. Jamie whines annoyedly “daaaad you’re going to make me mess up.”

Lukas shakes his head and peppers messy kisses all over Jamie’s cheek. Jamie squeals and attempts to squirm away. Lukas places one last wet peck to his cheek, and Jamie giggles and wipes it “ewww you gave me cooties!”

Lukas chuckles and ruffles his hair. “Shush, I love you.”

Jamie rests his head on Lukas’s arm, “I love you too daddy.” Lukas smiles even though Jamie can’t see his face, heart feeling so full in his chest. Jamie resumes playing his game and focuses on roundhouse kicking an enemy. Philip pops his head out the archway, “dinners done!”

Jamie jumps up excitedly, pressing pause on his game. “Yay! Chicken nuggets! Chicken nuggets!”

Lukas watches Jamie run amusedly. Philip carries out two plates, and hands one to Lukas and places his own on the end table.

“Thanks sweetheart” Lukas says, stroking Philip’s arm.

A soft smirk tugs at Philip’s lips, and he sits down, plastering his body into the crook of Lukas’s arm. He grabs his plate from the end table. They both bite into a crispy chicken nugget.

Philip watches him chew with hopeful eyes “is it good?”

“Mmm” Lukas hums, it’s _really_ good. He swallows the piece of chicken, “top notch, chef Shea.”

Philip giggles, and flicks his arm “shut up.”

Lukas smiles at Philip’s _gorgeous_ laugh, and flicks his eyes towards the paused tv, “what’s Jamie doing?”

“He’s a messy eater, so he eats his dinner at the table” Philip answers with a knowing look.

Lukas nods and bites into another nugget. They finish their food in calm silence. Philip smiles brightly when Jamie skips back into the living room, “did you eat all your nuggets?”

Jamie jumps onto the couch, sliding his tiny limbs onto Philip’s lap. “Mhmm Phi Phi, they were really good.”

Philip grins, and twists his face so he can cup Lukas’s jaw, giving him a deep peck.

There mouth’s make a noise when they break the contact. Philip blushes and beeps Lukas’s nose.

“I love you boys so much” Philip admits breathlessly, his eyes almost glowing with hearts.

Lukas nuzzles his nose into Philip’s hair, and wraps his arm tighter around his neck. He rests his hand on Jamie’s knee.

“I love you both. You and Jamie are my world” Lukas replies honestly, eyes brimming with tears from the flood of emotion he feels.

-

He shuts the Berenstain Bears book closed, and tucks Jamie’s blanket in up to his chin.

“It’s time to get some sleep baby” Lukas murmurs, stroking his son’s soft hair.

Jamie nods slightly and curls into the warmth, being more than willing because he’s so tired.

“Goodnight kiddo, I love you.” Lukas whispers, pecking Jamie’s head. Lukas watches idle by the door till Jamie’s eyes flutter shut, and he closes behind himself quietly. He tip toes down the hall, and cracks the door to Philip’s bedroom. Inside Philip is waiting for him, eyes open in tiny slits as he watches Lukas crawl into bed beside him. Lukas lies on his side, splaying a hand onto the dip of Philip’s waist. Philip is facing him, and brushes their lips together gently.

“He asleep?” Philip asks.

Lukas smirks, Philip is so over protective. “Yes babe, you let him stay up past nine and you’re really asking that?”

Philip rolls his eyes playfully, and pushes Lukas so that he is lying flat on his back. Lukas sucks in air when Philip crawls on top of him, settling his pale thighs on Lukas’s hips. Lukas gasps when Philip rolls his hips teasingly.

Two can play at that game.

Lukas cups Philip’s ass in his palms, digging his nails into the pliant flesh. Philip moans like it’s the best thing in the world, whispering breathlessly “I bought condoms.”

Lukas surges up at that, licking wetly into Philip’s mouth. “Fuck” he exhales out, playing with the hem of Philip’s underwear.

Philip presses down more fiercely onto him, grinding his hips down onto Lukas’s crotch in a tantalizing rhythm.

“Philip” he hisses, sliding his palms up Philip’s briefs.

His fingertips teasing close to his crack. Philip stills his movements, and noses his way down Lukas’s neck. Suckling hard kisses that’ll probably turn to hickeys into the sensitive skin. He licks softly onto Lukas’s chest, and latches his lips unexpectedly on a nipple. Lukas groans, fingers threading into his brown hair. Philip flicks his eyes up to Lukas’s with a sultry gaze, fluttering his lashes as he pecks his way down to Lukas’s navel. Lukas thumps his head against the pillow the second Philip’s hand grazes the bulge that’s tenting up his boxers.

“Fuck” he whispers, reaching down a hand to stroke Philip’s jawline, his lips. _God, those fucking lips_.

Philip sticks out the tip of his tongue, flicking it against the digit. He sucks it into his mouth, taking it down to Lukas’s knuckle. Lukas pulls out his thumb, all spit slick and warm. He cranes his neck up so he can watch Philip as he starts to tug down the waistband of Lukas’s boxers. Revealing a trail of brown pubes and his flushed cock, lying thick on top of his lower belly.

Philip’s eyes darken, and he grips the base firmly. Tilting the leaking tip towards his open mouth. He sucks the glistening head into his mouth, flicking his tongue into the slit to taste any precum. It feels so fucking amazing, vibrations sending shockwaves up Lukas’s spine.

Philip’s eyes flick back up to his, he smirks around him at the pinched expression on Lukas’s face. Lukas’s eyebrows are visibly creased at the intense suction, and his mouth dropped in almost soundless pants. His body curls upwards when Philip slides his cock down deeper, getting Lukas’s tip bumping his throat. Lukas can’t help the noise that escapes him. It’s like he had his breathe punched out of him. It’s that overwhelming, enrapturing him completely and turning his clenched knuckles white.

Philip hums around him, fluttering his tongue on a sensitive vein. Lukas nearly shoots in his throat at that, but holds back by biting down hard on his lip.

“ _You’re so good baby_ ” he exhales, moaning brokenly when Philip swallows him down, thick lips nestled right at the base. He tugs at Philip’s hair warningly. Philip must get it because he slides Lukas out of his throat, slowly though, sucking hard along the way and breaking the suction with a noisy pop.

Lukas sucks in much needed air, and breathes deeply until his breath evens out. Philip smirks proudly, “I’ll get the condom”, and rolls out of bed quickly. He rummages in his bedside end table, finding the condoms and lube quickly. He slides back into bed beside Lukas, nestling into his side. He sucks on the shell of Lukas’s ear, whispering hotly “want you on top of me.”

Hell yeah, Lukas can do that.

Lukas slides his big palms across the meaty parts of Philip’s inner thighs, pulling them apart till he’s nicely spread. He slides his hips in between them, pressing his hard cock against Philip’s tented briefs, dampening the front of the cloth.

Philip makes a noise, deep in his throat, and claws Lukas’s back. Lukas smirks, and leans down to ravish Philip’s mouth with deep kisses, wet and full of tongue. Philip moans into his mouth, and uses a hand to shove down his briefs. Lukas leans back to aid Philip in sliding them off, and tosses them down on the side of the bed. Philip’s cock is leaking prettily, wetting the soft skin below his navel.

“You shaved” Lukas comments, eyes glazing over at the smooth expanse of flesh.

Philip purrs in response, lashes fluttering. Lukas traces a gentle hand down Philip’s tummy, feeling the small lines of his stretchmarks, and then the rigid length of his cock. He closes his fist around it, stroking the precum up and down the rosy tinted tip. Philip makes a small whining noise, and shuts his eyes tightly.

Lukas gives him a couple more firm tugs, and then slides his hand down further, trailing past his balls to his hole. He circles the rim teasingly, and sits back on his heels to trickle some cool lube down on it.

Philip hisses at the coldness and splays his thighs open further. Giving Lukas perfect access to his body. Lukas wets his fingers with the slick as well, and presses the tip of his pointer finger inside. Philip scrapes the sheets with his nails, and flicks his eyes to hold Lukas’s gaze. He slides it inside the heat till Philip’s rim is pressed against his knuckle. Philip moans when Lukas flexes his finger inside, stroking his tight walls.

“You can add another” Philip says, reaching out a hand to stroke Lukas’s jaw.

Lukas slides in a second finger, scissoring them so Philip’s is more stretched open. He leans down and sucks Philip’s bottom lip into his mouth, biting down and pulling. Philip wraps his arms around Lukas’s back, and Lukas’s arm is snug between their bodies, his fingers sliding in and out quickly now. Philip keens when Lukas crooks his index just right. He moans wantonly when Lukas pushes in a third. Lukas finger fucks him in smooth strokes, applying pressure to Philip’s spot every time.

Philip presses his lips to Lukas’s, mumbling “you can fuck me” against them.

Lukas nods rapidly, his long strands falling into his face. He pulls out his fingers, and reaches for the condom. Ripping it open with his teeth, he glides it down his stiff length.

Philip watches him with half lidded eyes at Lukas presses in. The head pops through the ring of muscle, making it easier to slide the rest of his length fully in. Philip gasps soundlessly, his fingers tense up and his nails dig into Lukas’s shoulders. Lukas can barely breathe, it’s that consuming. The hot snugness of Philip’s body gripping his shaft so tightly.

“So fucking perfect” Lukas moans out, stroking a soothing hand up and down Philip’s side.

Philip makes a pitchy noise, and furrows his brows when Lukas gives a testing thrust.

“Lukas” he whispers, but it sounds more like a whine.

Lukas buries his face in the crook of Philip’s neck, and noses his way up past Philip’s jawline, to his ear.

“Yeah baby?” he asks, suckling on Philip’s ear lobe. He hitches up Philip’s thighs and starts slow deep thrusts. Philip makes a keening sound, and hooks his legs around Lukas’s back.

“I love you” Philip pants out. His body now jolting from the firm way Lukas is fucking him. Lukas has a tight grip on Philip’s hips, helping him keep Philip’s body where he wants it as he slides repetitively in and out of his slick heat. Philip takes it perfectly, voice hitching with slutty drawn out moans when Lukas’s cock slides in deep, rubbing right against prostate.

“I love you too sweetheart” Lukas groans, Philip now pushing his hips downward to get Lukas’s cock lodged in even deeper. Philip whimpers as Lukas gains more leverage, and steadily fucks into right where Philip needs it.

“Ungh” Philip whines, making noises that sound like heaven.

Lukas rests his hand on Philip’s throat. He feels the quick thudding of Philip’s heartbeat there, and the vibrations of Philip’s moans. Philip presses up into the touch, making a choked noise even though Lukas is barely applying pressure.

“Touch me, choke me, yeah, harder” Philip gasps out, sounding so filthy but looking so pure. It’s an odd mixture, but it’s so perfect.

And Lukas doesn’t have to be asked twice. He closes his fist around Philip’s throat, not hard enough to cut off air supply. But enough to get Philip light headed and airy, feeling all the pleasure surround him. Then he uses his other hand to wrap around Philip’s cock, firmly tugging at the same pace that he thrusts. Philip’s mouth falls open, and his eyes roll back as a needy moan leaves his throat.

“M’ gonna cum” Philip whines, hips twitching uselessly.

Lukas feels smug. He smirks at Philip, locking eyes while he tightens his fingers around his throat. He fucks into Philip’s hole easily now. All loosened nicely and fucked out.

Philip cums between them with a choked moan, his nails scrape Lukas’s flesh igniting fire down his spine. Lukas almost whines at the feeling of Philip cumming. His hole is all tight and clenching around him as Philip tremors through it. Lukas slides in three more times, and holds deep as he pulses a load into the condom. He bites down oh Philip’s collarbone with a cry. He mouths along Philip’s jawline with loving kisses as he gently pulls out.

“Missed you” Lukas breathes out, eyes honest and half lidded.

Philip cups his cheek, and whispers back with a soft smile “I know.”

-

The weekend hits and Tivoli is thankfully getting good weather. So the first thing Lukas decided when he woke up was that he is going take Philip and Jamie to the park.

It’s early morning. Dew still on the grass, and dawn just hit. Philip’s still asleep, curled up into his side. He looks so ethereal, with the sunshine peaking beams through the blinds, cascading down on Philip’s cheekbone and jawline. Philip looks like art. Lukas traces his fingers down Philip’s hairline, down the small curve of his nose, and past his soft lips. He touches the tiny beauty mark resting below Philip’s bottom lip, feeling Philip’s mouth quirk as he slowly wakes up.

Philip eyes open in slits, blinking blearily.

“Hey angel” Lukas whispers, tucking Philip’s bangs behind his ears.

The corners of Philip’s mouth upturn, and he presses himself closer to the warmth of Lukas’s chest. “Morning” he mumbles, kissing softly at Lukas’s pec.

Lukas traces down Philip’s spine, “I was thinking about taking you and J to the park.”

Philip hums, and lifts his face up to meet his eyes. “Sounds good baby” he whispers, leaning in for Lukas’s lips and pressing a chaste kiss there. He pulls back with hopeful eyes “get Jamie up?”

Lukas nods, and reattaches their lips into a deep kiss. Philip pushes him back when his kisses get feistier, and reminds him with a flush “Jamie.”

He pouts playfully, and pecks his lips one last time. “Alright” he gives in with grin, he slides off the bed. Lukas walks the hall to Jamie’s room. Cracking open the door, he slips inside, and sits on the edge of Jamie’s bed. Jamie must feel the dip of the mattress because he rolls over confusedly.

“Morning kiddo” Lukas says, ruffling Jamie’s already mussed up hair.

Jamie groans tiredly “m’ no school today daddy.”

A wide smile stretches Lukas’s lips, “I know, and that’s why you, me and Phi are going to the park.”

Jamie’s expression changes quickly, going from mopey to excited in three seconds flat. He sits up, squeaking “really?”

Lukas nods, “you have to have some breakfast first.” He lifts him up by his armpits, and carries him out into the kitchen. Jamie runs to the table eagerly, and Philip enters the archway with an amused expression.

“Looks like somebody woke up on the right side of the bed this morning” he comments with a good hearted smile.

Jamie makes the chair he’s sat in squeak as he pushes himself from it, skipping towards Philip with joy. “Phi Phi! Daddy said we’re going to the park today!”

“He did?” Philip beams, feigning surprise, “wow! That’s awesome baby!” He lifts Jamie onto his hip, Philip quirks an eyebrow at him “what do you want to eat? I can make you some pancakes and sausages.”

Jamie nods “pancakes!”

“Alright” Philip grins, placing Jamie back down at the table. He flicks his eyes to Lukas, “you good with pancakes too?”

Lukas comes towards him, wrapping an arm around Philip’s torso while he flicks on the stove.

“Sounds good babe.”

-

They seat themselves at a wooden bench. It’s got a lot of engravements of old lovers, and a decent amount of nicks and splinters. Lukas spreads out the table cloth they’d brought along, and flattens the creases on the edges. He opens the little carrier basket and pulls out their sandwiches, his and Philip’s with tomato slices, Jamie’s without. Jamie jumps off the swing unexpectedly while Philip was pushing him and races over to the bench.

Philip shakes his head with a disproving look at Jamie’s careless nature, and follows after him.

He plops down beside Jamie and Lukas, giving Jamie a stern look “what did I tell you about jumping off the swings?”

Jamie pouts, “Sorry dad.”

Philip hums, and ruffles his hair with a soft smile. “Good, we should eat our lunch.”

Lukas nods in agreement, kissing Philip’s cheek. He hands Jamie his sandwich, and gives Philip his whilst wrapping his arm around his waist. Philip nestles into his embrace comfortably, and pulls his sandwich from the zip lock bag. Jamie is already half way done, eating hurriedly so he can go back on the swings.

“Slow down or you’ll choke” Lukas warns worriedly.

Jamie rolls his eyes and slows his bites, chewing now before swallowing. Lukas smirks and gives him a thumbs up, and takes another bite out of his own. He moans while chewing, when he swallows he comments “Phi is a chef, for sure.”

Philip laughs loudly, “That again? Maybe we’ll have to start our own business” he jokes.

Jamie finishes his sandwich, giving Philip big eyes. “Can I go play now?”

Philip smirks, “what’s the magic word?”

“Pleaaaaase” Jamie drags out in a whiny voice. Even showing his impatience by jumping up and down.

“Go” Philip says, patting his back before Jamie takes off.

Lukas smiles as Jamie starts talking to some little boy sitting on the swings. The little boy grins and nods at something Jamie said and begins playing what appears to be tag with him.

“I’m glad J’s having fun” Lukas whispers to Philip.

Philip twists his head, spotting Jamie and the boy. He flicks his eyes back to Lukas with a beaming smile, “you know, he’s been so happy that you’re around.”

His cheeks heat up and his heart feels like its floating. “Really?” he asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah, I’m really happy too. This past week has been amazing, you’ve really made it easier just being here.” Philip admits voice all soft.

Lukas cherishes his family with all his heart. He can’t even remember what it was it was like being without them. They have completely tilted his world on its axis. He loves Philip and Jamie with every ounce of his being.

Lukas holds his love tighter, peppering sweet kisses to his neck. “I love you so much, you and J are my everything. I’d be nothing without you.”

Philip grins, eyes lighting up with love.

“You know…” Philip trails off, smiling with a hopeful gaze “I’m really reconsidering having another kid. If you wanted to.”

Lukas drops his mouth in surprise, he wasn’t expecting that.

“Holy shit. Really?” he asks excitedly. He would love to have another baby with Philip, and give Jamie a sibling to play with.

Philip kisses him. With his eyes shiny and voice gentle he whispers “yes.”

-

_Five months later_

Lukas puts Jamie to bed, all snuggled up in his blankets and stuffies. Jamie asks him with half lidded eyes “is my sister really in Phi Phi’s tummy?”

Lukas nods with a smile, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

“She is.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this. <3


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